Not feeling that Great

So yeah, Im not feeling that Great right about now, all I can think about is my husband and his ex! What the crap? Didnt sleep good at all last night, and now Im up early this morning. Its all because of a conversation we had last week. We were on the road trip to see the family and we were telling stuff about each other and we promised we wouldnt get mad. Well out of all the stuff he told this one thing apparently keeps sticking out. He told me that he showed the new girl at work, his ex's daughter and sd she may be his. Well, its nothing new he has been telling me this for awhile but A.)I pretty much cant stand his ex, for the fact she has almost, at one point, destroyed our marriage. B.) This new girl at his work has only been there for like two weeks and he has already shown her his ex and her kid? Pretty upsetting since thats all I can think about. I may be just over reacting, but for no apparent reason this keeps popping in my head! So now I wonder if he showed his new co-worker, our daughter that is 100% his or me, the one he is married too? Am I being too....too worried? I did tell him that I looked up my ex on facebook to see what was up with his life and I sd I didnt even send a message or chat with him, but he is now marriaged and has a baby and I am very happy for him. Thats when he told me since his ex is blocked from his account he got the new girl to look her up to show her the kid that maybe his! Well I seriously doubt, and I mean seriously doubt that that kid is his. Doesnt even look anything like him and she has a dad. I hate to say this, only for the fact there could even be a 1% chance she is his kid, but I dont think our marriage would last much longer if his ex came back into the picture!!!! Okay so thats all I have to say for now, I pretty pissed at this point and dont really wanna talk about this anymore.

Visit Home

      So this past week we visited back home which is only a few hours away, but seems like a whole nother state at this point. We only moved away about 6 or so months ago, but it just seems soo different now. We definetly got a big reminder of why we moved. The drama that surrounds my husbands and my own family is amazing! We just get all the good news since we live so far away and they always want us to visit, so when we actually get up there we actually hear EVERYTHING that has occurred while we were away. So yeah my husbands mom cheated about 2 1/2 years ago with her 1st cousin by marriage!!! Well then her husband put up camera's to catch her in the act and he did. Long story short she left town and moved away with her cousin...lived with his family for awhile which is also her aunt and uncle, then they talked them into getting married. Which for her this is the third marriage and his second but thats no big deal right? Other than they only did it because his family talked them into it because of there religion! So now back to the present, they have been married a lil over a year and she has already caught her new husband cheating and apparently she has been doing the same!Oh and they just bought a house and are moving in together, they have been living with other people since they got married including us, yeah we kicked them out. WOW yeah thats a whole lot going on right? Well on top of that the guy my husbands mom was married to before she married her cousin was my husbands real dad. Still following? Well, we ended up catching up with one of his workers this past week while we were there, yeah his dad owns his own business, and he filled us in on what my husbands dad has been up to. The woman he has been dating since his last wife cheated (my husbands mom), has five kids, and apparently he has been sleeping with the oldest one and paying her so she can afford rent where she is living with her 3 kids....WHAT!!!??? Yes, this must just be the norm for some people! I see and hear about this kind of stuff happening all the time, but you never really know the truth or if someone fabricated a story. Well, I can voutch for this one, at least the whole part about the camera's to catch his wife cheating because we were out of town visiting other family members at the very time he caught his wife on camera but as soon as we returned, my husbands dad showed me the pictures of the whole incident and there is NO denying what was on them!  So yes this is my rant for the day, it just amazes me what people will do. Does marriage not mean anything anymore? Are people just that slutty or do they just not even want to try to make there marriage work? I mean by no means are my husband and I perfect we have definetly had our problems but we have worked them out! I would just hate to be known as a whore to my children and grandchildren, because I keep sleeping around,married or not makes no difference. So I am going to leave that as that for right now because I could write a book about my husbands family, and there drama, and I have only known them for about 5 years!!! All comments are welcome, I would love to know so people's opinions on the situations

LIFE

      So this little thing called life....has so many unexpected twist and turns! Some good and some bad, but either way you have no way of knowing whats next to come. One minute you can be having a absolutly great day then the next out of nowhere just one little comment and your pissed at the world. Ha and sometimes I wonder why I already have a grey hair or two at 22years old!  It mainly pissed me off that this particular time its a reoccuring subject, and one that I actually try to avoid but amazingly enough it comes back up ever so often and my husband always has a comment, then I go from happy to depressed within a slip second! I then feel as though I have no one to talk to about this issue because its something deeply personal that no one knows except my husband, so on that aspect I feel even worse! But in the end I am always the bad guy, when I know I didnt even do anything. It also feels as if I have the weight of the world on my shoulders because if this gets out to anyone else in my family it will ruin it, all the way around and I definetly dont think anyone in the family can handle such a big thing....
       Yes, so basically I am writing this to just vent because I have no one else to vent to other than my husband which in this case is the only one that knows and also the same one I cant talk to about this! So yes being stuck between a rock and a hard spot is not any fun. I just hope I dont ever make anyone feel like they cant talk to me because I make them feel bad, thats a terrible way to feel. I thank God for my daughter or I prolly would be where I am at today, I am sure I would have taken a whole nother direction in life entirely. I was definetly headed in another direction when I found out I was pregnant. But I also STRONGLY believe that everything, good and bad, happens for a reason. Whether we know it immediatly or not, it all comes full circle sooner or later.